Archive for the ‘Free Consultations’ Category

Poor Kendra!!!!

Monday, February 8th, 2010

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Poor Hank Kendra!!! She  was spotted leaving the Superbowl looking very upset!!! Her husband Hank Baskett dropped the ball on a game changing onside kick- arguably blohing the game for the Colts!!

Don’t worry Kendra, you’ve brought enough shame to the family name. Don’t forget where you came from babe!

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Chris, You’re Trying Way Too Hard…

Wednesday, January 20th, 2010

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Chris Brown was spotted at a Milan fashion show wearing these long black leather gloves. We get that you’re trying to show that you’ve matured and that you’re now a man not to be confused with the little boy who wore fitted caps and oversized graffiti t-shirts, but you’re style lately seems to be really unnecessary. It’s like you want to put in one accessory that just throws off the cohesion of the entire ensemble….Get a new stylist please and just ride this project out. We’ll forgive you after one or two more albums…right guys?

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Free Consulation: Lindsay Gets In With French Star….

Tuesday, January 19th, 2010

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Lindsay Lohan attended a private party at the Church clothing store last night. During the party it seems as though Lindsay had a handsome male to pass on the time. We knew she wasn’t a true lesbian and that her little stitch with Samantha was just a phase as she kissed a French male actor throughout the night.

His name is Aurelien Wiik and he’s 29. He too was a child actor appearing in films with Sophia Loren and Kristen Scott Thomas.

Lindsay, will you ever learn. These public displays only help to tarnish your image. As much as we want to help you, you have to help yourself first. It doesn’t seem that you care that’s why you continue to BLOH your career!

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Bitch Alert: Gossip Girl’s Taylor Momsen

Friday, January 15th, 2010

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Quite honestly she’s got to be our least favorite castmember on Gossip Girl and after these comments we will really want ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with her.  Last night Taylor Momsen made a comment that will undeniably send waves of criticism if this story ends up being covered by others.

Taylor was at the Victoria Secret store in NYC to promote her new fragrance, Love Rocks…we guess it goes along with her grungy slut look…. Anyway a reporter from OK! Magazine asked if she planned on making a donation to Haiti like a handful of other stars have publicly done, Taylor responded, “Um, right now I’m trying to finish my record and getting through the last season of Gossip Girl for right now. So not so much thinking about that.”

Everyone: WE HAVE A BITCH ALERT! We’re a little in shock, but not surprised because we never really liked this chick to begin with. Something told us not to like her and now she’s just added fuel to our flame!

But it didn’t end their Taylor had even more to say and added, ” But it’s awesome that everyone is ya know working towards a good cause.” Wow how dumb do you think Taylor is? Horrible parenting!!!! Even Lindsay knows better than that!

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Does Lindsay Have A Sextape?

Thursday, January 14th, 2010

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We wouldn’t be surprised to see a sextape by Lindsay. We’re sure she pretty much devours the men she sleeps with. What can we say the girl looks like she knows what she’s doing.

Unfortunately for some, but fortunately for Lindsay this movie doesn’t seem to be a full length film of non-stop action like One Night In Paris. Instead the film featuring Lindsay is reportedly a 40second clip of our girl “frolicking naked with a mystery male”. The man Lindsay was fooling around with on the tape is believed to have ownership of the tape and is a waiter at a well known chain of restaurants. So she didn’t aim high with this guy?!

He’s planning to sell the video to an offshore porn site which will of course end up everywhere and undeniably on some of your computer screens! A source says that the film is ” dynamite. It is pretty seedy and shows Lindsay engaged in a particular sex act which, obviously, should remain behind closed doors. If and when it is released on the Internet, via a spurious, unofficial website, there is absolutely nothing she or her lawyers can do about it.”

Unfortunately, there are two stories we wouldn’t be surprised to hear about Lindsay: 1) she has a sextape 2) she’s been found dead. Lindsay you really need to be put on lock down and try your best to get back on track because we pretty much already have the sextape envisioned in our heads!

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Lindsay Lohan Assualt Investigation….

Sunday, January 10th, 2010

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One more reason why Lindsay Lohan needs to stay her ass in the house: Lindsay’s car struck a photog this morning. Her driver is now a person of interest in a criminal assualt with a deadly weapon investigation.

Occurring at 12:30 am at the Hotel Cafe in Hollywood. Lindsay’s driver was driving her BMW when it hit a member of the paparazzi.

Lindsay is not a suspect in the incident but she was in the car when it happened. Regardless, Lindsay this is something you should not be connected to. If you’d just stay home or do something a little less sceney you’d be on the right track….

The photog injured his hand and was treated by EMT’s who arrived on the scene.

Lindsay we’re really annoyed…really really annoyed!

Update:

Check out the action…. We’ll side with Lindsay on one issue: when you’re on the frontlines you gotta BE IN SHAPE and ready to MOVE YOUR ASS OUT OF THE WAY! Clearly he wasn’t ready…

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Miley Is Yearning To Be A Rich Partying Adult

Saturday, January 9th, 2010

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Although she’s only 17, Miley is ready to shed her image and become an adult! As we reported yesterday Miley will be doing her last season of the Hannah Montana series and will plan to separate from her “Disney” image. The tween star is ready to start playing with the big kids and just last night was upset about not being able to go out at night and party with the rest of young hollywood because photogs were outside her house.

A source says, ” Miley was upset because there have been about 15 photographers sitting in front of her house for a couple of days now. She wanted to go out late and not be seen. I think she feels it’s not good for her image to be photographed partying at night.”

We can understand though, being in Los Angeles we were definitely going out when we were in High School, but with Miley image is everything so she better protect her assets or she’ll end up like Lindsay.

Instead of going out though to party, Miley went to a bookstore and then out to dinner at Casa Vega in Sherman Oaks with her mom, leaving to go home at 10:30.

Once Miley gets off that show we’re gonna see a whole lot more of Ms. Cyrus….we just hope she doesn’t go over kill on the partying it can get addicting! As the Pussycat Dolls’ say, “Be careful what you wish for [Miley] because you just might get it!”

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The Reinvention of Michael Lohan in 2010?

Saturday, January 9th, 2010

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It seems as though Michael Lohan is somewhat aware of his douchebagery….or at least he has a team that’s trying to revamp his image for the new year but he’s actually apologizing to his troubled daughter Lindsay and ex wife Dina for releasing those extremely private phone tapes… We don’t know what the deal was about that because if he really wanted to help his daughter we’re sure that didn’t make them get any closer.

Michael revealed:

“I just got a call from my daughter and she was very upset… Evidently she thinks I’m releasing another tape of a call to me. And I’m not. I’ve done a lot of stupid things in my life, whether it be with Lindsay, with Dina, with Erin, with people I love and care about, trusted or whatever or did the wrong thing. But… one of the biggest mistakes I ever made was releasing the tape of Lindsay and Dina.”

I think we were all pretty upset Michael, but especially Lindsay. She’d probably be worried to have phone conversations with you from now on at the risk of you recording them. Not a good move Michael.  But now it seems as though Michael realizes this because he’s saving face as he has promised Lindsay and Dina that he will never release any private conversations again.

He says:

“I promised them I would never do it and I didn’t release another tape. Evidently, Lindsay read on the Internet that they’re releasing another tape, which they are not. They are obviously re-releasing the tape that was already released.”

Don’t know if we really trust that the man seems to like the spotlight and has on many occasions done all he can to maintain any type of attention. After all this is the man who went on Maury to discuss his “drug addicted” daughter. But now he’s giving us a different tune saying that he wants the world to leave his daughter alone as he fears the attention will push her to the edge.

Michael goes on to say:

“There’s no sense in beating a dead horse. I sympathize with Brittany Murphy’s family, with Heath Ledger, with Michael Jackson, with Adam Goldstein and as of late, with Casey Johnson, and there is an issue here with prescription drugs, but why beat up my daughter again, why push this kid to the edge? Leave her alone. I did enough damage with that tape that no one has to re-release it.”

Although Lindsay’s a monumental fuck up and has managed to lose everything, we can see why….. THE GIRL HAS NO FOUNDATION. Both her parents seem to be looking out for themselves and if Lindsay can’t turn to her family for guidance who can she turn to….We feel for you Lindsay but you’ve got to be strong enough to live above it all….but we fear for the worst!

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